A Slight Disadvantage
by KiWi Rai Rai
Summary: Armada G1 crossover The Decepticons have a slight problem. Not only have the been turned into humans, but are currently stuck in a parallel universe all thanks to Skywarp. Now they have to cope with humans and Autobots while trying to figure out how to
1. Wait, we're where?

KiWi: Look! I'm starting a new story! Because I have the attention span of a goldfish!

Torio: Yes you do.

KiWi: Actually, I just have writers block, until I came up with this idea. I'll continue the others stories… eventually.

Question: does combining 2 unoriginal ideas create an original story? I suppose its like the good movie bad game, bad moviegood game theory. Oh well, it's worth a try!

Torio: Just say the bloody disclaimer so the story can start.

KiWi: I do not own Transformers. If I did, well then I would be dead, because they would squish me. Remember to review!

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Thundercracker tried to focus. He had to get out of stasis lock.

Or at least he thought it was stasis.

He made an attempt to move his hand, and managed a little twitch. He tired to focus on his surroundings without activating his optic sensors. The Seeker moved his hand again, and realized whatever he was lying on was cold. It wasn't snow, because it felt smooth, like metal…

"Hey, TC! You need to get up!"

Was that Skywarp's voice? Why was it so hard to think? Maybe he should start from the beginning…

The Decepticons had gone to the arctic because they had picked up and energy signal. They had gotten there, and found the source of the energy, which was a small crystal.

"Thundercracker, you have to get up."

Who's voice was that? It sounded so familiar…

Anyway, they had found the crystal, and the Autobots came soon after that. Megatron had ordered Skywarp and him to watch the crystal, and Starscream had told them not to touch it until they could find out more about it. Then Skywarp, who in typical fashion had not listened, touched it, and there was a bright flash, which caused everyone to panic and run to the source, and…

And that's how he got in his current condition. Thundercracker felt someone grab his shoulders and shake him. Their hands felt unusually warm.

Thundercracker woke up, and found himself face to face with a human. Thundercracker let out a small shout as the human smiled.

"Welcome back to the land of the functional, TC!"

"S-Skywarp?" Thundercracker stuttered

"The one and only!"

"But, you're-"

"Human. Yeah, I know."

Thundercracker stared at the fellow Seeker for a long time, and realized that he kind of looked like himself. He was dressed in a purple and black jacket, with black jeans. His hair was a dark gray, and was shaped kind of like his helmet. His eyes were the same shade of red as his optics. Thundercracker imagined that he looked much the same, except that instead of being dressed in black and purple, he was dressed in blue and white.

"How did this happen?" Thundercracker asked.

"I dunno. Soundwave refuses to tell me anything." Skywarp glared at the figure with the dark blue trench coat and red sunglasses.

"Soundwave?"

"Shut up." Was his only reply, which was as monotonous as usual, even if his voice sounded different. Skywarp suppressed a laugh. The figure standing next to Soundwave glared at the purple seeker. Judging from the colors he wore, which was light blue and purplish, Thundercracker guessed it was Rumble.

Thundercracker sighed. Having Skywarp and Rumble in the same room was a bad thing. The seekers and Soundwave and his cassettes never really got along, especially Skywarp and Rumble (or Skywarp and Soundwave for that matter). Thundercracker stared at the ground for a long while and realized something.

It was made of a Cybertronian alloy.

"Are we back at the Nemesis?" he asked

"No." Soundwave replied. "We are at an Autobot base in an alternate dimension."

Thundercracker sat there shocked. Skywarp's reaction, however, was very different.

"We're _what_! Why are we still here! We need to get out of here, _now_!_"_

"We cannot do that. If we left, the Autobots would become suspicious. We are at a slight disadvantage."

"A slight disadvantage?" Skywarp laughed "A _slight_ disadvantage! We are human Decepticons in an Autobot base! We're defenseless in an enemy base, because we are slagging humans! We have been turned into squishies, and we're in a base filled with Autobots who, mind you, are probably very much Autobot!"

"We'll have to pretend to be one of their pets." Soundwave stated.

"We haven't had much contact with humans." Thundercracker admitted.

"I have." Skywarp said.

"I don't think juggling the humans counts, 'Warp."

"Oh. Well, what about the midget." The Seeker suggested.

Everyone turned to Rumble.

"What?"

"You have had the most contact with the fleshies." Thundercracker said.

"But what makes ya think- oh all right, first we'll need human names.

"I get dibs on the name 'Spike'!" Skywarp shouted.

"Can't ya be quiet? We'll be caught. Anyway, you can't use the name 'Spike'."

"Why?"

"'Cause if the real Spike is here, we'll be more likely to get caught." Rumble gave a small sigh. "We could probably get by with calling Thundercracker 'TC'. That will prevent Skywarp from messing this up."

"Why you-" Thundercracker had to physically restrain his wingmate from mauling the cassette.

Rumble ignored the upset Seeker. "I can go by the name… Robert. Yeah, that's it. Skywarp, you can go by the name Stewart."

"I don't like that name," the purple and black seeker commented. "It sounds geeky."

"Then it's perfectly fitting for you." Rumble taunted. After seeing Skywarp's glare, he said, "Fine, then you can use the name Skyler. It's got "sky" in it. Are ya happy now!"

"It's a little bit better..." Skywarp muttered.

"We still need a name for Soundwave…" Rumble muttered, "What about the name… Soren."

"Where do you come up with these names?" Skywarp asked.

"It's Danish."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Minutes later, after everyone had found the room with all the Autobots, the four human Decepticons were listening to Optimus Prime's explanation of the war. Thundercracker looked at Soundwave out of the corner of his eye. He was listening attentively to every word the Autobot commander said.

Probably comparing differences between our universes… 

Thundercracker's gaze shifted from Soundwave to Skywarp. The Seeker looked bored. That was bad, because Skywarp and bored do not mix. Sure enough, he muttered something to Rumble, who murmured something mean back. Thundercracker jabbed both of them in the back with his finger to warn them to be quiet. Rumble shot him a dirty look, but Skywarp kept quiet.

A few minutes later, they were free to interact with the various inhabitants of the base. Skywarp was busy talking to a human named Carlos, who was showing off his new "Nerf" gun, whatever a nerf was. Soundwave was standing in the corner, leaning against the wall, watching Rumble, who was talking to an Autobot named Red Alert, who was, in fact, not paranoid.

"So, what exactly do the Minicons do? I mean, they have to be really important if the 'Cons want them." Rumble asked.

"You weren't listening, were you?" The exasperated Red Alert sighed. "The Minicons powerlink with us and make us stronger."

"Powerlink?"

"Combine."

"Ah. So, are they like gestalts?" Rumble asked.

"No. There is no merging of minds." Red Alert paused. "How do you know about gestalts anyway?"

"Ah, well, you see…" Rumble was hit in the back of the head by something. He turned around to see Skywarp holding up the Nerf gun.

"Nyaaaa, can't catch me!" he taunted before running down the hall.

"Why you-" Rumble started before chasing after him.

Thundercracker sighed. Today was going to be a long day…

It took Rumble a few minutes to catch up to the purple seeker, but when he did, he promptly tackled Skywarp to the ground.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you." Rumble hissed. Skywarp just smiled.

"Because I just saved your aft." Rumble gave him a confused look. "You were asking too many questions. We've got to pretend were stupid like the humans."

"Then it's gonna be easy for you." Rumble retorted.

"Quiet you. Anyway, I found out that were going to school with the humans. And were going to live with them. So don't say anything out of place."

"Hey TC, what's the schedule you got?" Thundercracker handed Skywarp his schedule. "Aww, we hardly got any classes together. What a bummer." Skywarp looked at the book that his friend carried under his arm. "Whatcha reading?"

"Ender's Game."

"What's it about."

"A six year old kid who's forced to become a soldier."

This time Carlos got in the conversation. "Sounds kind of… depressing."

"Would it kill you to be cheerful for once in your life, TC?" Skywarp asked.

"Probably."

"Are you emo?" Carlos asked.

"What?"

"You know, emotional."

"No," Soundwave butted in, "just pessimistic."

"At least he shows emotions." Skywarp replied slyly.

Soundwave gave off the impression of glaring without having to change his face at all.

"He's annoying…" Alexis muttered to Soundwave. "Skyler, I mean. Is he always this obnoxious?"

"Yes."

"How do you deal with him?"

Soundwave looked her straight in the eyes and said "I try to stay as far away from him as possible."

Alexis paused for a moment, and then asked, "Does it work?"

"Not if he decides to annoy you."

"I'm going to end up hating him." Alexis muttered.

"Most people do."

This was the most annoying basketball game ever. Rad made a mental note to himself to make sure that Skyler and TC were always on the same team, just to prevent anything like this from ever happening again. It all started with the realization that the two looked exactly alike in their P.E. clothes. Then he and Carlos, the two team captains, picked their teams. Carlos chose Skyler while he picked TC. The first few minutes went pretty good, and the new kids were very talented. Then Skyler decided to use the fact he looked like TC to his advantage, and tricked the team into giving him the ball, and TC wasn't below using this tactic either.

"How are they winning?" Rad muttered

"They've stopped passing to the twins." A kid somewhere behind him answered.

"Maybe we should-" The bell rang. The game was over.

"We won." Skywarp said cheerfully.

"You cheated." Rad hissed.

"Did not. I had a natural advantage, so I used it. That is not cheating. Anyway, TC did the same thing."

"I still say you cheated."

"Dude," Carlos muttered as they walked to the gym, "It's just a game."

"I beat you." Skywarp whispered to Thundercracker.

"So, it's just a game. You didn't play fair, anyway."

Skywarp smiled. "We're Decepticons. We don't play fair."

Alexis glared at Soren, who was busy sketching something out on a piece of paper. She had actually liked him when they had first met, but being in this class had shown her that he was just a slacker. They had a quiz tomorrow, and he wasn't even paying attention! On his first day at school, nonetheless!

"Soren, since you have obviously finished your work, why don't you tell the class the answer."

Alexis smiled as she entered the numbers on her calculator. This slacker was going to be humiliated in front of the class for his lack of attention, just as he deserved.

"The answer is 6.3659372." Soren replied with his emotionless voice. Alexis looked at her calculator. He was actually right! She looked at Soren, and then at the teacher, who was pissed about being outsmarted by one of her students. The class, however, thought it was funny and began snickering. The teacher glared, then walked over to Soren and pulled off his sunglasses.

"I'm afraid we don't allow sunglasses in class. I'm going to have to give you a detention." The teacher gave him a slip of paper, then continued on with the lesson. This time, Soren glared at the teacher's back.

Alexis quickly glanced away and shuddered. His eyes were so unnerving. They were the same shade of red as his glasses, and he had this gaze that seemed like it could look right through you. It made her wish the teacher would let him put his glasses back on.

Lunch. Alexis was happy that the class was over, and she could finally talk to the others. She followed Soren out of the class, who was walking at a brisk pace. He had also put his glasses back on. Thank God.

"I'll show you where the cafeteria is." She said. Soren gave a small nod. However, they didn't get more than a few feet until they were stopped.

"Hey there, what's this?" Skyler asked as he reached into Soren's pocket. He pulled out a slip of paper, and looked at it for a moment. "A detention? On your first day? Shame on you."

"Go bug someone else." Soren said. Skyler gave a devilish grin.

"You got it." He replied cheerfully, and walked off.

Everyone was at their lunch meeting place when Skywarp returned. Thundercracker only needed one glance to tell he was up to something, mainly because of how he had cupped his hands together.

"Hey, 'Lexi, look at what I found!" He walked over to her and opened his hands. A green blur landed in her hair. While Alexis screamed, Skywarp laughed. Rad eventually got close enough to the girl in order to pluck out what had to be the largest grasshopper native to Earth.

"I swear Skyler, I am going to _kill_ you!"

"Hey, calm down, I'm just doing what Soren said." There was only a slight pause before Soundwave's human name.

"And what would that be?" Alexis hissed. Skywarp smiled.

"He said to go bug someone else. So I bugged you."

"Oy, puns…" Carlos muttered. Thundercracker just buried his face in his hands and tried not to laugh.

"Can I have my grasshopper back now?" Skywarp asked. "He might be useful for another prank. Anyway, I can keep him as a pet until then." Rad handed the grasshopper back to Skywarp.

"So, what's its name?" Carlos asked. "If it's a pet, it's gotta have a name."

Skywarp grinned. "I think I'll name him," he paused for a moment, "Kickback."

Thundercracker was sure that Soundwave rolled his eyes, even if he couldn't see it.

Luckily the rest of the day went by uneventfully. School was finally over, and the gang was headed back to the Autobot's base. Rad, Alexis and Carlos walked ahead while the Decepticons stayed behind.

"Who's fault was this anyway?" Skywarp asked.

"Alexis managed to convince Red Alert to hack into the schools system and get us on the records here." Soundwave replied.

"Not what I meant."

"Actually, I believe this is your fault, 'Warp." Thundercracker retorted.

"Gee, thanks for sticking up for me, TC."

"Will ya stop your fighting?" Rumble snapped. "We need a way out of the mess our resident retard got us into."

"Hey, what do you me-" Skywarp started, but was cut off by Soundwave.

"What we do is wait. There may have been others who were also sucked into this universe, and our presence here may have a negative effect on this timeline."

"Stupid overrated receptionist…" Skywarp muttered to Thundercracker. "Who died and made him commander?"

"I think he has the highest rank out of all of us." Thundercracker answered.

"Does anyone besides 'Screamer actually pay attention to rank." Skywarp paused. "What does he mean by 'our presence here may have a negative effect'?"

"I think he means that we might accidentally cause the universe to implode or something."

"Oh," Skywarp responded. "Well, that would be bad." Thundercracker gave him a flat look.

"Yes, Skywarp. That _would_ be _bad_."

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Torio: It took you a year to type this thing?

KiWi: Yep.

Torio: That's just sad. Seriously.

KiWi: Whatever. Updates will be sporadic. The next chapter will depend on how lazy I am and how retarded the school's computers are.

Torio: And how many other stories you're going to post. You have two going on pen and paper, plus the ones you've already started, plus that stupid one-shot your working on, plus-

KiWi: Okay, okay, I get the idea. I need to focus more… (grumbles) Please review… I'll give you a cookie if you do.

Torio: (glares) And how will you do that?

KiWi: I'll use my imagination.

Torio: You'll give them imaginary cookies?

KiWi: I hate you, Torio. I really do. (to readers) Review please!


	2. Are you sure they won't kill us?

KiWi: I cannot believe that the stupid computer already screwed up my story!!!!!!! It wouldn't let me re-open the file!!!!!! (kicks computer) Now I have to start all over (sobs, then turns to the computer) This is all your fault!!!! (starts beating the computer)

Torio: (sweat drops) uh, I guess this means I'm answering the reviews this time… Lets start with the criticism. (pulls out letters) Ah, yes, KiWi's narration has always been a bit loose. It's improving though, and I'm sure she'll try to fix it. Look, we also got something on the scene changes. (turns to KiWi)

KiWi: (ignores him and continues beating on the computer)

Torio: Whatever… Anyway, we knew this one was going to happen. The scene changes were originally marked. They got lost somewhere along the way. It's been known to happen with the way KiWi writes Minicon speech in one of her other stories. She'll mark thing like that simpler now.

Orange: (comes in) The violence must stop! (starts arguing with KiWi about the computer)

Torio: (getting a headache) I can end this. (looks indecisively at a review) I'm going to regret this one. (holds up review) Look, someone thinks that Skywarp and Thundercracker are adorable.

KiWi: (does a fangirl screech) Really!!!!

Torio: as much as I hate to admit it…

KiWi: (Grabs review and runs off)

Torio: (notices Orange trying to get away) Get over here! You're the new temp muse.

Orange: What the hell? Whatever. (reads review) An interesting suggestion, this changing back into their bodies at will, but she's determined to make these guys suffer.

Torio: If you are at all disappointed, she'll be working on a G1/Energon/Cybertron crossover as soon as she figures out if Energon Mirage used pronouns or not. I, being a figment of KiWi's imagination, am entitled to mystical knowledge such as this

Orange: Does that mean I am a figment, too?

Torio: (Flat stare) You are a figment based on a real person. Now pass out the imaginary cookies.

Orange: (passes out cookies) KiWi does not own Transformers. If she did, then I would fear for all.

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They had drawn straws to see who would live with who. Fate decided to hate Alexis that day, so she drew the short one, leaving her to house the one person who was quickly becoming the bane of her life.

"Get up." She hissed at Skyler. He just rolled over and muttered something, but all she could catch was a disgruntled "Dammit." So she decided to settle this the old fashioned way: with a bucket of cold water.

Fifteen minutes and a towel later, the duo was eating your breakfast.

"I hate you." Skyler growled. "I really, truly hate you."

"If it makes you feel any better," she replied, "I'm not fond of you either. None of this would have happened if you had gotten up the first time I told you."

"I was still tired."

"Well if you would have went to bed earlier…" That was the last that Skyler could take.

"I went to bed five minutes after you did, okay! I just could not sleep!" He pushed the bowl of cereal away, got up and grabbed his stuff and headed for the door. "Let's just go to school."

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Thundercracker looked from Skywarp to Alexis and back again. Something was troubling Skywarp, but he did not know what it was. At first he thought it was because Skywarp had said something to make Alexis mad, and it had rubbed off on him, but annoying people usually put Skywarp in a good mood. As soon as the humans spread out a bit, he went up and asked him what was wrong.

"Huh, oh, it's nothing, TC. Don't worry 'bout it." Skywarp answered, but the tone was not very convincing.

Thundercracker watched his fellow Seeker for a while, and then said, "You have them too, don't you?" Skywarp looked at him with a half quizzical, half afraid look. "The humans call them 'nightmares'. It's the subconscious human mind trying to make connections."

"I don't care what they're called." Skywarp snapped. He looked at Thundercracker with that guilty look he got when he knew he screwed up bad. In a softer tone he said, "If every night I hallucinate or whatever about having my wings torn off or Autobots chasing me, then I am not going to last very long." He looked away, then whispered, "I'm scared, TC. What are we going to do? We won't last a week like this."

Thundercracker put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "We will last. We'll make it because we have to."

"Right." Skywarp muttered.

"What's a matter," Rumble taunted while coming up behind the pair, "being a human too much for ya."

"Shut up, you little tin can," Skywarp hissed. "You're not faring any better than me."

"Ha! I'll last longer than you, you flying piece of scrap metal." Rumble gave Skywarp a cocky smile. Skywarp glared at the cassette, then looked at Thundercracker.

With a smirk, he asked, "Wanna bet on that?"

"Five energon cubes say that your gonna slip up and say something to the 'bots."

"And my five say that I will do no such thing." Skywarp responded. He stuck out his hand. "Deal?"

"Deal." Rumble affirmed, shaking his hand. Then the two began walking in the direction of their classes.

Thundercracker sighed as the bell that officially marked the start of their day rung. It was far too easy to think of all the ways that this could go to the Pit.

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Soundwave was grateful for all of the free time he managed to accumulate in his computer class, simply because the human computers were so easy to use. Instead of typing up the report the class was doing, he was doing valuable research on how do get out of this mess. The fact that he had _already_ typed up the report made things much cleaner.

So far, his search for strange temporal occurrences had come up with nothing. He had found nothing with the searches for 'Autobot' or 'Decepticon', but that wasn't surprising. Typing in 'giant alien robot' had led him to a bunch of anime sites, and one news one that had something about a carnival where one of the Autobots was stupid enough to be seen.

All of this made Soundwave to wonder: how could four beings drop out of a rift in the space-time continuum and no one notice? Surely the human's technology can't be _that_ bad.

No, somebody _had_ to notice. He was just looking in the wrong places. One of the Earthen governments perhaps, or the military.

The Autobots must have noticed, but getting the information off of their computer would be difficult. What he needed was a terminal of his own.

Soundwave closed down the window for the Internet when the bell rang. His next class was history, which he had with Skywarp. It was doubtful, but maybe he could be of assistance.

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"Did you try MySpace?" Skywarp asked. "A lot of people go on that site." Skywarp paused for a second with a thoughtful stare. "On second thought, don't try that one. It'll take too long to search and you'll probably won't find anything but useless babble."

"The information has to be somewhere…" Soundwave thought out loud.

"Face it, Soundwave," Skywarp said, chuckling a bit, "Anything short of hacking into the Pentagon or Teletraan-1 and you won't get anything."

Soundwave gave him a flat stare. "I won't be able to save the information from the Autobot's computer without one of my own. Even then, it's doubtful I'll even be able to get the information."

"I'll ask Carlos if he has a spare laptop or something. He's a tech junkie, so he's bound to have something."

Soundwave stared at him, trying to figure out what trick he was trying to pull, or what he wanted. Skywarp did not help him for free. Actually, when Soundwave thought about it, Skywarp had _never_ helped him.

Finally, he asked, "Why are you helping me?"

Skywarp laughed. "Being able to fly beats annoying you any day."

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Alexis watched as Soren walked into their math class. He sat down and took his glasses off. Alexis looked away and shuddered. She liked the guy, but there was something really weird about him. She wanted to know what it was, but doubted he would tell her. That meant she had to do a bit of research.

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Soundwave looked at the cafeteria food, not really sure if it qualified as what the humans called 'food'. He glanced at Thundercracker, who looked back at him and mouthed the words 'I don't know what the slag it is, either.' Soundwave sighed and took a tray. Both he and Thundercracker went to the lunch meeting spot.

As they were walking to the spot, Skywarp came up behind them and asked. "What the slag is _that_?"

"Slag." Both Thundercracker and Soundwave replied in unison.

"Glad I'm not eating." Skywarp stated. "Anyway, Soundwave, I asked Carlos about the computer thing. He says he has a spare, but it's not exactly cutting edge." Skywarp smiled. "I'm sure a genius like you can fix that."

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When they got to the base, Carlos ran home to pick up the computer for Soundwave. It was obvious that the computer would have to be modified in order to store information from the Autobots computer.

"Rumble." Soundwave whispered, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. "I need some parts, and a tool. Preferably from the medic's Minicon."

"Right away, boss."

Now all that Soundwave needed was for the Autobots to leave so he could hack into their computer.

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Skywarp was busy watching Soundwave fix up his computer, which was about as enthralling as Space-Bridge duty, when the Minicon alarm went off.

As soon as the Autobots took off, Skywarp went up and shouted, "Yo, Soundwave, here's your chance."

"Just let me finish up." The communications officer responded.

"Take to long and they'll come back!"

Soundwave finished up a few more connections, and then ran to the Autobot's computer. "Rumble, help me make the connections." He ordered. "Skywarp, go watch the warp gate."

"Why do I always get stuck on guard duty?" The Seeker complained.

"Just go!"

"Fine, fine…" the Seeker grumbled. "See if I ever help you again."

"Rumble, are those wires plugged in yet?" Soundwave asked.

"Yeah."

Soundwave's fingers flew across the keyboard as he downloaded the information, hoping the computer could handle it.

"The warp gate is opening!" Skywarp yelled.

"Damn." Soundwave muttered. "Hurry up."

Skywarp ran back to the computer seconds before the warp gate activated. Soundwave looked back at the computer, and resisted the urge to shout at the top of his lungs. The download had actually worked!

Everyone scattered as the Autobots walked in the room, two of the robots carrying something in their hands. Those two continued walking, while the others stopped in the room.

In order to fit in, Rumble asked, "Where's the Minicon?"

Optimus shook his head. "There was no Minicon," He stated, "instead, we have found some more humans. Are you sure that you do not remember anything else besides your names?"

Skywarp and Thundercracker exchanged worried looks. _Not remember anything?_ Thundercracker thought.

"I am sorry." Soundwave replied. "Our memories have not returned to us yet."

A cover story. Now it made sense on how Soundwave had been able to assimilate the group here. _It would have helped if he had told us _the blue Seeker thought grimly.

"I see." Optimus said thoughtfully, and wandered off in order to puzzle out these new events.

Soundwave was finally aware that Carlos was standing behind him. Luckily, he was not looking at the information he had gotten.

"I hope you didn't bum that off of me just so you could play solitaire." Carlos joked.

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"This is bad. Oh man, what are we going to do?" Bumblebee muttered.

"We'll be fine, right Wheeljack?" Skyfire asked

Wheeljack wore the classic 'why are you all looking to me for leadership' expression. "I don't know." The engineer admitted. "I don't even know how we got into this mess, let alone how we're going to get out of it." He turned to the grumpy medic, who was leaning against the wall. "What do you think, Ratchet?"

Ratchet was cut off by the sound of the doors hissing open. In stepped in two young humans, one in blue and white, and the other in black and purple. They were completely identifiable as two of the Decepticon's Seekers, Thundercracker and Skywarp.

"Autobots," Skywarp hissed, "you're not going to tell them _anything_, right?"

Bumblebee gave them a defiant stare. "We'll tell them whatever they need to know."

Thundercracker shook his head. "We can't let you do that. We have a decent cover story, and are, for the moment, safe. There's no way a bunch of Autobots are going to botch that up for us." Thundercracker gave a small smirk. "It's not like they'll _actually_ believe you, anyway."

"He's right." Skyfire stated. Everyone turned to face him, and even the Decepticons were a bit shocked by what he had admitted. "There is no way that the Autobots here would believe us. Even if they did believe us, we cannot tell them. There is no telling what our presence here could do to their timeline."

"Do we have your word that you're not going to tell?" Skywarp asked. The now-human Autobots all looked at each other, trying to decide.

Finally, Ratchet spoke up. "You have our word, but if we _absolutely _have to, we will."

"Define 'absolutely have to'." Thundercracker ordered.

"If someone's life is on the line, or if telling them will prevent the timeline from being messed up." Ratchet replied with a glare.

The Decepticons smiled. "Good," Thundercracker said, "Now, you are required to go under aliases, like us. My name is TC, and this is Skyler. The others will introduce themselves later." And with that they left.

As soon as the Seekers left, Ratchet kicked the wall. "Are we actually going to do this? Are we going to listen to them?"

"We have to." Bumblebee said solemnly. "We gave our word."

"They might just leave us here!" Wheeljack argued. "Or worse, shoot us in the back when we aren't looking!"

"They won't." Skyfire said calmly. "They, or at least Soundwave, understands the mess we're in. They won't risk anything that might mess this up." Skyfire paused. "We should still watch our backs, though."

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Megatron rolled over, vaguely aware that something was wrong. He could hear jungle sounds, which proved he was still on Earth, even if he was not where he remembered. He winced as he felt something bite into his arm.

Megatron rolled over again in order to make himself get up, but the attempt failed. This time, whatever bit his arm tugged on it, but that too failed.

He finally got up when Starscream kicked him in the side and started yelling. For once it wasn't brave boasts about how he should be the Leader of the Decepticons, but something about Skywarp being an idiot.

Megatron was surprised when he heard Starscream's voice come out of the human, but he was even more surprised when he realized that he was a human too. He could not show any weakness, especially in front of his treacherous Air Commander, about the situation.

That did not mean he couldn't get some answers, though. "What happened?" Megatron asked.

Starscream just continued with his rant. "I told that idiot not to touch it, but does he listen to me? _No_, of course not. He _never_ listens to me. It's like his sole purpose for existing is to make my life harder!"

Megatron ignored the Seeker, and turned to the panther sitting next to him.

"Ravage?" He asked.

The panther nodded.

"Do you know where the others are?"

Ravage shook his head no.

So they were completely cut off from the rest of the army, stuck in the middle of the jungle, and in bodies they had no idea how to function with.

"Starscream." The Seeker turned to his commander with an indignant glare. "Do you have any idea what happened? Or what that crystal did to us?"

"If I had any idea what the crystal would do, _Leader_, then I wouldn't have had to tell Skywarp not to touch it!" If only Megatron had his fusion cannon. "Some of the energy signals were similar to the Space-Bridge, so it is safe to assume we are either on another planet or in another dimension?"

"So which is it?"

"If I knew, then we wouldn't have two possibilities, now would we." Megatron glared at Starscream. "The safest bet would be to act like we're in another dimension. Which means we have to interfere with as little as possible."

"And the Autobots?"

"If they are here, then we have to take them back with us. We cannot leave any traces of our presence."

Megatron glared at the ground. This was by far the worst situation they had been in.

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KiWi: Done! Don't know when this'll be up though. Stupid slow 'net.

Torio: We should probably thank Orange.

KiWi: How about a plug. Orange is on Fanfiction as Illusion Gaia. Look him up and read his story.

Torio: And review both this one and his.

KiWi: But mine first!!


	3. Caffiene is a gift from Primus

KiWi: Wow, I actually made it to chapter 3.

Torio: (golf clap)

KiWi: Anyway, time to answer reviews. Someone is happy I put Starscream in this story. I suppose that means I didn't butcher his character. I'm so happy about that. (grins)

Torio: Kumquat is complaining about your spellchecker. (Long pause) Since when did he get a fanfiction account?

KiWi: That doesn't matter. I've already had this conversation with him. Moving on now… Ah yes, another one that mentions Starscream. I like Starscream. He's like the Wheeljack of the Decepticons. Unless your talking Armada, then Wheeljack is the Wheeljack of the Decepticons…

Torio: (smacks her upside the head) get on with it.

KiWi: Anyway, your idea would be… well; it would suck for the Autobots, that's for sure.

Torio: And anything that causes pain to the Autobots is fine by KiWi…

KiWi: So, here's a special segment. Welcome to TC's "all the ways our situation can go to the Pit"!

Thundercracker: Right. Anyway, having our powers back even without our robot bodies would severely mess with the Autobots, and having our bodies back… well let's just say I wouldn't put anything past Skywarp at this point. And depending on who is still stuck as a human and who's not will definitely alter this. Plus when the Autobots find out, or the humans. Dealing with interpersonal relationships between the G1ers is already difficult enough.

Torio: Because everyone _knows_ that Starscream as Skyfire are never stuck in the same fanfic out of mere coincidence.

(Somewhere in another room, Skywarp mentions something about the "red string of fate". This is followed by a crash and a wet thud)

Thundercracker: That was Skywarp, wasn't it? I should probably bail him out of trouble. Again. (Exits)

Torio: Anyway, the segment above should not be taken as a spoiler. We won't tell you what will or will not happen. Also, KiWi does not write slash, for those of you who are now curious about the Starscream/Skyfire thing. Sorry to disappoint.

KiWi: Yep, no slash or yaoi. I support the pairing, but am a Slashophobe. Also, note the K+ rating. I'm trying to keep this fairly clean. Anyways on with the show.

Torio: KiWi does not own Transformers. If she did, she would already have the Classics Starscream.

KiWi: He's out, by the way. I saw him at Target! (pauses) I'm talking too much again.

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Megatron felt helpless, and he was not happy about it. Ravage was the one who caught most of their food, and Starscream figured out most of the ways to survive, which annoyed Megatron. It wouldn't be long before Starscream figured out how useless his leader was in this situation. Megatron opened his eyes, and realized that Starscream was no longer lying on the other side of the campfire.

"Ravage." Megatron whispered. "Where did he go?"

The panther motioned his head towards a tree. It took a while to notice, but Megatron could see the outline of his Air Commander in the branches.

"How long do you think before he tries to take advantage of the situation and kills me?"

Ravage shook his head no.

"So you think that he _won't_ kill me?"

Ravage nodded his head. He looked indecisively at his paw, and then wrote 'Too weak, sick' in the dirt.

Megatron looked at the words nervously. If Starscream was sick, was it something that could get the rest of them, too?

Ravage sensed this nervousness in Megatron. To answer his unasked question, he wrote 'psychological, mentally maladjusted'.

Megatron smirked. "So, it's all in his head? Given Starscream, it's not very surprising."

Ravage wrote in response 'you dream, too. I hear you.'

"I suppose that you see everything." Megatron said, and then gave a small smile. "That's why you're one of the best spies."

All Ravage did was lay down, but you could practically taste his smugness in the air.

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Starscream climbed higher in the tree, trying to get a good vantage point of the stars. When he was finally satisfied, he leaned back against the trunk and tried to sort out his thoughts. Usually, he would be out flying, because it helped him think, but there was a slight problem with that now. He needed a way out of this mess. The Seeker closed his eyes and tried to come up with a solution.

_I can't last like this_, he thought desperately.

Starscream opened his eyes again when he thought that he heard someone chuckle behind him. He looked around to see if someone was there, but there was nothing.

"I'm hearing things," Starscream told himself. "Its just fatigue getting to me." _Again,_ he added mentally.

That's when he heard the chuckle again. "What's a matter, Starscream, having some problems, problems?"

Starscream twisted around to see who was behind him, and his stare was returned by two glowing red optics. Startled, the Seeker slipped and sliced his hand on a sharp, broken branch when he tried to prevent himself from falling.

Luckily, Bombshell caught him before he hit the ground. "You really should be more careful." He laughed.

"Insecticons." Starscream sneered, the term becoming more of an insult. "What are you doing here? We didn't enlist your help for this mission."

Kickback smiled. "We know free food when we see it." He gestured to the trees around him. "No pesky Autobots to disturb our meal."

Starscream looked at the two mechs in front of him. "How did you avoid turning into humans?" He asked. This may be the only chance for him to get his real body back.

Behind him, Shrapnel landed softly. He chuckled again and said, "Mind over matter, matter."

Kickback laughed. "You were too busy thinking about plenty of colorful words to say to Skywarp to focus on maintaining your form, weren't you?"

Starscream decided not to answer that question. Instead he asked, "When were you planning to tell Megatron about this?"

"Oh, that's your job." Bombshell answered. "If you want to, I mean. After all, it gets pretty funny watching you try to off him all the time."

Starscream gritted his teeth. As much as he hated to admit it, this was something he _had _to tell Megatron.

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Ratchet glared into his cup of coffee as he listened to Alexis argue with Skywarp again. That's when he realized that even though it had only been three days, he had found someone he hated more than Megatron and Starscream.

Skywarp was loud, rude and obnoxious. In other words, he was a Decepticon version of Sideswipe. Ratchet didn't know what was eerier, the fact that the Seeker had almost the exact same personality as the Autobot warrior, or the fact that those two were actually rivals. The Seekers and the twins clashed on an almost daily basis, and no one had noticed how similar those two actually were.

Ratchet rubbed his forehead. He had enough trouble with Sideswipe back in his universe, and he wasn't looking forward to having to deal with a slightly more demented version of him running around.

"What's wrong, Richard?" Ratchet looked up at Alexis.

"It's nothing." He replied.

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Skyfire watched everyone as they swirled around. He was observing his friends, but he hated it because it made him feel cold and distant.

"What's up?" Ratchet asked, coming up beside the scientist, followed by Wheeljack.

"Some of us are having trouble adjusting to this." Skyfire stated.

"What do you mean?" Wheeljack asked.

"Some of us, like Bumblebee are fine, but others…" Skyfire trailed off, looking at Ratchet. "You see them in your dreams, don't you? All those people that…"

"That I failed." Ratchet finished curtly.

"No! I didn't mean it like that!" Skyfire gave him a wounded look. "It wasn't your fault. You can't save everybody." Skyfire finally gave up and sighed. "I suppose innocence is the first casualty of war."

"On a cheerier note," Ratchet decided to change the subject, "I've finally found a good use for this damn war." Wheeljack and Skyfire gave him confused looks. "It's prevented Sideswipe and Skywarp from becoming friends."

"I don't get it." Wheeljack admitted.

"That's because you haven't seen some of the stupid stunts Skywarp has pulled." Thundercracker commented from behind them. "He once decided to use his teleportation abilities to fuse Starscream's legs into the floor. I, for once, was not asked to help in that prank."

Wheeljack gave a small smile. "If that's the case, I propose that after the war, we send them off to separate planets. Sideswipe can go back to Cybertron and we can keep Skywarp on Earth."

Thundercracker shook his head. "Skywarp will kill you if he finds out you want him to stay on Earth. He hates it here."

As if on cue, Skywarp came up and slumped on top of his friend.

"Man, TC, I am so slagging tired." He muttered.

"Get off of me." Thundercracker growled.

Skyfire eyed the can of Jolt Cola that Skywarp had a death grip on. "That stuff is so unhealthy for you." He muttered.

"Are you kidding?" Skywarp laughed. "Caffeine is a gift from Primus!"

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Rumble anxiously looked over his shoulder. All morning he had this feeling that he was being watched, and it was the most nerve-wracking thing ever. It made him jumpy. What was worse was that it wouldn't be long before Skywarp started laughing at him. The Autobots already thought he was up to something.

Rumble looked over his shoulder again, and this time found himself facing Bumblebee.

"Why are you so jumpy?" the Autobot asked suspiciously.

"None of your business." The cassette hissed. He had to get out of here, so he decided to head to class early. Sure it was with that idiot Seeker, but at least he did not have to be interrogated by Autobots.

Rumble stopped and completely turned around when he heard something rustle in the tree behind him.

"Dude, it was just a bird." Bumblebee muttered.

Rumble just ignored the Autobot and continued on his way.

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"C'mon, I just want _one _drink."

"Ha! No way, runt!" Skywarp laughed as he stuffed the can of Jolt into his backpack. "This is mine. You should have gotten your own."

"I hate you." Rumble muttered.

"And that's why you're not getting any."

"Everyone's going to the arcade today, so lets make a bet. Loser buys winner a can of Jolt."

"Wasn't planning on going." Skywarp muttered. "I have better things to do than follow Soundwave around."

"What if the game was DDR?" Rumble asked, knowing that was Skywarp's favorite pastime.

"I'll think about it." The Seeker muttered. "Now pay attention, I don't want to get busted again because of you."

Rumble paused, and then asked, "Hey, have you ever had that feeling like someone is watching you?"

"Telling me won't prevent me from laughing at you when you snap on us." Skywarp stated blandly.

"Just answer the slagging question." Rumble hissed.

"Nope. Not lately. Now pay attention before we get busted."

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Alexis leaned over as far as she could in order to see what Soren was looking at. It appeared to be some sort of map he printed out from a computer. There were some points marked on it, and Soren was crossing off some of those points. She quickly started coping down the notes on the board as the teacher walked by, and she saw Soren stash the paper in his binder and do the same. Apparently, he did not want to get in trouble again.

Alexis wanted to know what he was up to. There was something a bit odd about Soren, but no one else seemed to notice. It wasn't that he was popular, or that he was hated; it was that he was just there. Everyone knew he was there, but no one really noticed. It was kind of like the sky. You didn't check to see if it was blue everyday, simply because you already knew it was going to be blue.

Alexis sighed. _I'm just being paranoid,_ she thought. She looked back at Soren, who was looking at his map again.

_But I'll ask someone just to be sure._

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"Where's Skyler?" Alexis asked. She didn't trust him out on his own, left to his own devices. "And Rad? And TC?"

"Oh, you're going to love this one…" Richard muttered.

It turned out that Skyler, Rad and TC were hiding behind the wall, watching the cheerleaders.

"What's going on?" Alexis asked. "Do I even _want_ to know what's going on?"

"Kickback's final flight." Soren stated.

Jack just sighed. "This is going to end badly."

"Yep." Richard confirmed.

"Now I know what TC was talking about earlier." Jack muttered.

Sam hung his head, which did little to make him appear shorter. "Should we try to stop them?"

"Nah." Both Alexis and Richard said at the same time.

What occurred next was pure pandemonium. TC was the diversion, who played the stereotypical new kid and was asking where everything was located. While the cheerleaders talked to him, Rad and Skyler slipped the large grasshopper into one of the girl's salads and walked off. Then TC said thanks and went with the rest of the group.

The cheerleader then went back to eating her salad, and realized that the insect was in there. She screamed very loudly and tossed the salad. Then she proceeded to stomp on the poor grasshopper. She paused and stared at the dead bug unsurely, and then, just to make sure it was dead, stomped on it a good twenty more times.

Skyler had to be physically dragged away by his accomplices before he broke down into fits of laughter within earshot of the cheerleaders.

"That was so funny!" He finally managed to say.

"You're a jerk, did you know that?" Alexis growled.

"C'mon 'Lexi. Even you have to admit that that was a classic."

"I hate you. And stop calling me 'Lexi'."

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"Yeah! Time to go!" Carlos cheered. "Wait, where's Skyler"

Thundercracker sighed. "I know where he is. I'll go get him."

He was right; Skywarp was standing by the squished remains of his grasshopper.

"Come on, 'Warp. It's time to go." He muttered.

"He did well." Skywarp stated.

"It was a grasshopper. It wasn't even sentient. It didn't realize that it was dead!"

Skywarp stared at Thundercracker. "But that did not stop him from doing well."

"Skywarp, listen to me. It was an Earthen insect, not a fallen comrade. Now stop mourning it and come on. Everyone is going to go to the arcade without us."

"All right, I'm coming." Skywarp then turned back to the dead grasshopper. He gave it a small salute and said, " 'till all are one."

Thundercracker looked like he was going to start strangling his wingmate. "It was a slagging _bug_! Why are you giving it a funeral?!" He paused, and then said, "You're going crazy, aren't you? Being stuck as a human has driven you mad. If _I_ start acting like this, please shoot me."

Skywarp gave him a thumbs-up. "Can do, buddy."

Thundercracker grabbed the other Seeker by his ear and dragged him away.

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It had been a good hour after Rumble and Skywarp had started playing DDR, and neither of them looked like they were going to stop anytime soon. Thundercracker was watching Skywarp play, who had started showboating ever since the crowd had gathered around them.

"Showoff." He muttered.

Alexis made a frustrated noise. "He is so annoying."

"Eh, you get used to it."

Carlos, who had been too busy watching the game to pay attention to the conversation, finally said, "He is good at DDR, though."

"Whatever." Thundercracker muttered, turning back around.

A few minutes later, Carlos whispered, "TC, look."

Thundercracker turned back to the table. In the middle of it, there was a black and yellow hawk. It just stood there, watching Thundercracker. Thundercracker reached for a fry, and the hawk bent down and ate it.

"That was _my_ fry." Thundercracker stated.

The hawk gave him a look that said, 'and now it's mine'.

This time, Thundercracker reached for a fry that was a bit farther away from the bird. The bird went over to eat that one too.

"That's my fry." Thundercracker warned.

The hawk glared at him, which made Thundercracker wonder if hawks could glare. This one certainly did. Thundercracker inched his had closer to the fry, and right when he was about to grab it, the bird bit his hand.

"Stupid…" he hissed at the hawk, and reached for it. The hawk squawked and bit him again. Then the bird decided it would be wise to find a better place to perch, preferably one where the Seeker wasn't going to kill it.

Thundercracker wasn't about to let it off that easily, however. He threw French fries at it until the hawk finally got mad enough at him to come back down. This time the hawk swooped down and bit him in the nose. Thundercracker managed to catch it by the tail feathers, and he flung it to the ground. The hawk was about to get up again when they heard a low-pitched whistle. The whistle was coming from Soundwave. Obediently the hawk flew to his arm.

_Oh slag, _Thundercracker thought,_ that was one of his cassettes._

"Um… Soren?" Alexis asked. "Is that your bird?"

"Yes." He replied. Then, to keep up the amnesia story they had, he added, "I think so."

"Man, well, this is ruined." Skywarp muttered, referring to their time at the arcade.

"Let's go to the base." Carlos suggested. "We've got some video games there that we can play."

"Works for me." Skywarp replied, and began to follow the others.

When they were walking, Soundwave came up to Thundercracker.

"Buzzsaw does not appreciate you pulling out his tail feathers." He stated.

"Well, he shouldn't have bit me." Thundercracker growled.

Buzzsaw flapped his wings, gave a loud squawk, and glared at him. Thundercracker was sure that meant something along the lines of 'You deserved it'.

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"Megatron?" The Decepticon commander turned when he heard the Seeker call his name. The jet looked rather distressed. "The Insecticons are here."

"So? I'm sure if we ignored them, they'll go away, like they usually do." Megatron responded, slightly annoyed.

Starscream shook his head. "That's not exactly what I meant. They're here, but not like we are."

Megatron glared at his Air Commander. "You mean they weren't changed into humans." Megatron stepped closer, and the Seeker flinched. "Where are they now?" Starscream didn't answer, which made Megatron's mood even worse. "I asked you where are they now?!" Starscream still didn't say anything, so Megatron picked him up by the throat and lifted him off the ground. "Don't make me repeat myself again." He hissed. "Now answer the question."

Starscream tried to break his commanders grip, but failed. "I don't know," he gasped. "They left. I tried to follow them, but I couldn't keep up."

Megatron dropped the Seeker on the ground. This situation had gone from bad to worse, and he did not have the patience to deal with Starscream. He turned to walk away when he heard Ravage growl softly at him. He was looking straight at his commander's arm. Megatron looked at the red smeared across his arm, then turned to Starscream.

"Starscream?" he asked. The Air Commander tensed, clenching his fists even tighter. That was when Megatron noticed he had something in his right fist. "What's in your hand?"

"It's nothing." Starscream replied far too quickly. Megaton glared at him, knowing something was wrong.

"What happened to your hand?"

Starscream glared back at him. "I told you, it's nothing."

"Blasted fool," Megatron growled. "This is no time for you to start keeping information from me! If we want to get out of this mess alive, then we will have to cooperate. Now, stop being so slagging stubborn and tell me what happened!"

"I sustained some minor damage when I was up in a tree." Starscream stated. "Are you happy now?"

"Very." Megatron replied dully. "Now show me your hand."

Starscream grudgingly obeyed. The gash was fairly deep and the piece of cloth, which was most likely torn from the Seeker's shirt, had done little to stop the bleeding. Megatron stared at the blood that had started pooling in Starscream's hand, realizing he had little idea of what to do.

"We should stop the bleeding…" Megatron muttered.

"Noooo, _really_?"

"Shut up, Starscream. I'm not in the mood to deal with your attitude." Megatron growled. "We'll make camp here."

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"I'm winning! Haha, I'm gonna win!" Rumble cheered. Skywarp glared at him, then focused on the game. "Hey! That's no fair!"

"What's not fair? This is legal. You're just upset because you're going to loose." Skywarp responded. Rumble growled at him.

"Don't those two ever stop?" Bumblebee muttered.

"Nope." Thundercracker answered. "You get used to it. Kind of. Actually, no you don't."

Ratchet and Wheeljack joined the group that was watching the two Decepticons playing the video game. They gave a quick glance at the players.

"So, is it some sort of prerequisite for Decepticons to be nutcases?" Ratchet asked.

Thundercracker nodded. "And if you think this is bad, you should see it when Starscream and Soundwave fight. It's hilarious."

"I can imagine." Wheeljack muttered. He was about to say something else when he was cut off by Skywarp's jubilant cheers.

"I'm gonna win!" He shouted. "Now it's time for the finishing blow!" But before he could deliver it, the Minicon alarm went off. "Damn! That alarm needs to die." He walked towards the command room. "Stupid midget-bots."

"Minicons." Bumblebee corrected. "They're called Minicons."

"Yeah, whatever." Skywarp then put on a cheery face as he walked into the room. "What's up Red? Where's the Minicon at?"

"It's not a Minicon." Red Alert answered. "It's another blasted rift, and it's in the same spot it always is. We're sending a team to investigate, mainly because the Decepticons will probably try to manipulate it."

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Starscream lay on the ground, flexing his hand.

"It _will_ get better, as long as you stop messing with it." Megatron growled. Starscream just made a disgruntled razzing noise in response. "You're far more trouble than you're worth, did you know that?"

Starscream smiled. "Then I must be the best Air Commander ever if I'm still around."

"Blasted annoying…" Megatron muttered. He looked at Ravage, who was asleep next to the fire. He looked back at Starscream, who was messing with his hand again. "Will you just leave it alone?!"

Starscream let his arm fall to the ground. He just lay there for the longest time. Finally he got fed up with the silence. "Have you ever had that feeling right before something goes wrong? You know, the one you get when you know everything is going to go to the Pit, and then it does."

"All the time." Megatron responded. "It's called having you as my second in command."

Starscream glared at him. "Ha ha very funny. I'm serious. I've got a bad feeling."

"Nothing is going to happen." And then, just because karma hates him, there was a loud explosion.

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"Rad, get down!" Rad obeyed just as a round of laser fire from Cyclonus lanced overhead.

"Hot Shot, are you okay?" Rad asked.

"I'm fine," the Autobot responded. "Just go take cover!" The human hid behind a rock as more laser fire went by. One of the shots sounded like it hit something.

"Hot Shot!" Rad shouted. He closed his eyes and looked down. _He'll be okay, _the human thought. Then he opened his eyes and noticed a crystal lying on the ground. When he picked it up, he realized that it wasn't really a crystal, but a shard of one. Without a second thought, he pocketed it.

"Rad. I think they're calling a retreat." At the sound of Hot Shot's voice, the human peaked his head out from behind the rock.

"Is that it?" Rad asked. "What were they here for?"

"Same thing as us." Hot Shot responded. "The signal disappeared before Red Alert could trace it, though. I doubt the Decepticons found it."

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Wheeljack was sure that normal humans would be panicking at the sight of a giant alien robot that turned into a black car. Which lead to the conclusion that these weren't normal humans. The tall one looked calm, and the shorter one looked irritated, and the panther accompanying them looked bored.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you guys have something to do with the bizarre space-time rifts that have been happening around here." Wheeljack stated.

"Oh, he's _smart_," the short human replied bitterly. "I like him already."

"Will you shut up?" The tall one snapped. "You've caused enough problem as it is."

"No I haven't" The shorter one retorted. The tall one looked like he was about to slap the other human.

"Will both of you just shut up and tell me what's going on?" Wheeljack asked.

The tall human gave the shorter one a glance. "Should we tell him?" he asked.

"Why not. We're effectively doomed either way." The other one responded.

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KiWi: Wow, that was the quickest thing I have ever typed. Comparatively, of course.

Torio: Yeah, don't expect ten pages each chapter. The running average is about eight pages, give or take.

KiWi: Also, for those who might be confused, mainly Kumquat, the Wheeljack in the last part of this chapter is Armada, not the recently turned human G1. Yep, I finally put Armada 'Cons in. Anyway, review and I'll give you some imaginary leftover Halloween candy.

Torio: Imaginary leftover Halloween candy? You're getting desperate, aren't you?

KiWi: Quiet you. (To readers) Review please.


	4. The tribe has spoken!

KiWi: Yeah! I'm on chapter 4!!

Torio: And you finally remember the names of some of your reviewers.

KiWi: I'm horrible with names. It took me a year to remember most of my friends' names…

Torio: Anyway, on to reviews.

KiWi: First, the one from Starscream's Fire… See, I remembered your name!!!

Torio: (Hits her upside the head) Get on with it!

KiWi: Fine, all right. I'm happy you liked the parts with Starscream. It means I didn't totally butcher his character. This is my first fic in which Starscream plays a big part.

Torio: This is also your fist fic with G1 characters.

KiWi: Yeah, so it's kind of one big experiment. And now to answer the review from SpartanCommander, who's name I also remembered. (Big grin). Cerebro shells, clones and lightning are what make Insecticons fun.

Torio: She feels a certain kinship with the Insecticons because they channel lightning. You know, because she's KiWi _Rai Rai_. Anyway, the Insecticons wouldn't necessarily need those things to be a nuisance.

KiWi: It helps though. Let's see what other reviews… Thatredcar wants some of the imaginary leftover Halloween candy. I shall appease her by giving her some. (Strikes dramatic pose) Torio! Get the Candy!

Torio: I hope she realizes that it's imaginary candy.

KiWi: But you can do _anything _with your imagination. For example, by using my imagination and creating this story, I have put some G1 'cons through Hell!

Torio: Yeah whatever. Let's just start the story.

KiWi: I don't own Transformers. If I did, Skywarp would have had a bigger role in the cartoon.

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Alexis walked into to control room and found Red Alert sitting at the computer, like usual. She sighed and sat down on the ground next to him.

"Hey, Red, have you ever noticed anything odd about Soren?" She asked.

Red Alert looked down at her. "They are a bit strange, but that does not mean they're a threat."

"Something's just… off about him." Alexis mumbled.

"They know a lot more about us than they're telling." Red Alert stated. "When I first met them, Robert already knew about gestalts."

"Soren was looking at a map in class the other day." Alexis said.

Red Alert paused, then pulled up a map on the computer. "Did it look like this one?" He asked.

"Yeah… I think so. What's it a map of?"

"Those rifts that keep on appearing. If he was looking at a map like this, then it's possible that all of the humans we've found recently have something to do with these strange temporal occurrences."

Alexis thought about this. "Should we confront them?"

"I don't think so. Not yet, at least."

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"This is just bizarre." Wheeljack (the Decepticon one) muttered. "You guys got sucked in from a parallel universe? I've had some pretty weird experiences since I joined the Decepticons, but this is just…"

"If you think about it, it's not all that strange." the human Starscream hissed. "With the way Space-Bridge technology is…"

"But you're slagging _humans_," Wheeljack growled, not appreciating the fact that Starscream interrupted him. "I can understand the 'being sucked into a different universe' part. What I want to know is why you're humans." From off in the distance, there was a crunching sound. "Okay, what the Pit was that?"

"Insecticons." Starscream and Megatron muttered in unison.

"Insecticons?" Wheeljack asked. "Who're they?"

"Just a couple of nuisances." Megatron answered. "Hopefully, they won't cause too much trouble."

"Right." Wheeljack mumbled. "Whatever. Anyway, the energy readings came from this cave. Are you going to follow me in?"

"Does it _look_ like we have anything _better_ to do?" Starscream responded.

"I hate you." Wheeljack stated. "You're worse than the Starscream in this universe."

Megatron looked up at Wheeljack. "I'm getting sick of dealing with him too. Feel free to step on him."

"Hey!"

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Wheeljack took up most of the space in the cave, but there was a small area for the human Decepticons to walk in. Starscream crossed his arms and shuddered a bit. Wheeljack looked down at him and sighed.

"Let me guess," he said, "You're claustrophobic."

"Shut up." Starscream hissed. "Let's just keep on moving."

"Claustrophobia is a common trait in Seekers." Wheeljack stated.

"Just shut up." Starscream muttered.

"We _are_ almost there, right?" Megatron asked.

"I see the light at the end of the tunnel." Wheeljack responded.

"Please tell me you're not being proverbial." Starscream muttered. "Because if you are…"

"I hear water." Megatron interrupted. The party finally walked out of the tunnel, and was in a large room. There was an area in the center, almost like an island except for the bridge made of rock connecting it to the end of the tunnel. From the middle of the 'island', a blue light shone.

"We must be underground." Wheeljack stated.

"Either that, or this cave has subspace technology." Starscream mocked.

"Any more comments like that, and I _will_ squish you."

Their argument was cut off by a third human shouting out "Hey!!!" The human walked up to the group.

"Oh look, it's Rumble." Starscream said.

"I'm Frenzy, you dolt! Get it right!" The human shouted.

"Same difference." Starscream muttered. Frenzy went to lunge at the Seeker, but Megatron cut him off.

"Knock it off you two." He growled. He then turned to Frenzy. "Where are the others?"

"I dunno. It's just been Lazerbeak and me. I haven't seen anyone else around." Frenzy grinned. "It's nice to know I'm not alone, though."

"Yeah, whatever." Starscream gave a dismissive wave. "What we need to know is who else got stuck here. We know Skywarp is around here somewhere. Thundercracker was most likely with him."

Frenzy gave a thoughtful stare. "I saw Soundwave before I disappeared. And a couple of Autobots."

"Which Autobots?" Megatron demanded.

"Err… that nutcase engineer of theirs and Skyfire." Frenzy answered.

"Blast." Starscream swore.

"Nutcase engineer?" Wheeljack asked.

"Your counterpart in our universe." Starscream replied.

"So I'm still an Autobot in your universe? It's nice to know I have a reputation there."

"Hey, it's Ravage!" Frenzy called out. He bent down and patted the panther on his head. "I don't suppose you know where the others are?" The panther shook his head no.

"So," Starscream said while looking around. "What are we going to do now?"

"I'm going to call the other Decepticons." Wheeljack stated.

"What about not interfering?" Starscream hissed.

Wheeljack looked around. "Nothing's happened yet. I'm sure you guys can't make _that_ much of an impact here."

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Thundercracker looked down at Skywarp, who was lying in the middle of the floor of the control room.

"What exactly are you doing?" The blue Seeker asked.

"I'm savoring the last moments of this break." Skywarp stated. "Why don't we get weekends back at the base?"

"We're soldiers. We don't get breaks." Thundercracker answered. "What would you want a break for? You get antsy if you sit still for a few _hours_."

Skywarp blinked. "So?"

Thundercracker rubbed his forehead. "I need a cup of coffee. Ratchet and I are going down the coffee shop. Want to come?"

"Bunch of addicts…" Skywarp muttered. "Wait, Ratchet? You mean that psycho Autobot medic?!" Thundercracker nodded. "Consorting with the enemy? Isn't that treason or something?"

"I won't tell if you won't tell." Thundercracker replied. "Anyway, are you coming?"

"Who's left at the base?" Skywarp asked.

"Just Alexis and Wheeljack, I think." Thundercracker answered.

Skywarp jumped up. "I'm coming then."

Thundercracker chuckled. "Alexis scare you or something?"

"That, and it's always good to put a few miles between you and Wheeljack. You know, just in case."

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Cyclonus looked around the cave. "Are you sure they're telling the truth? Personally, I think that they might be a few circuits short of a motherboard."

"Like you?" Wheeljack shot back. He looked back at the Megatrons, who were sizing each other up (not literally, of course.) The human Starscream was, however, getting impatient.

"You're both Megatron! We get it already!" he shouted. "Now can someone say something…"

"I can say something." Demolishor interrupted.

"Someone _intelligent_," the human continued, "because I, for one, would like an explanation on why I'm here, and why I'm human. I also have better things to do than watch you two have a staring contest."

Cyclonus nudged the red Seeker sitting next to him. "That must be the you from the other universe, 'Screamer. He's loud, rude and…" Cyclonus was cut off by the Seeker smacking him upside the head.

Megatron, the robot one, looked down at the human. "The Autobots have no idea about this." He mused. "Perhaps we can use this to our advantage."

"Of course, mighty Megatron!" Thrust exclaimed. "A wonderful plan! If we can solve their problem before the Autobots figure it out, then the two armies can take the Autobot armies out one at a time!"

"No," the human Starscream hissed. "It is _not_ a wonderful plan. By interfering like that in each other's timelines, there is no telling what will happen. We might possibly kill of an Autobot that would turn to our side with valuable information that would win us the war."

"Don't be ridiculous, Starscream." The human Megatron growled. "There's no way we could lose with them as our allies."

"You mean yourselves." Wheeljack corrected, but was completely ignored.

"We have had to cooperate with the Autobots in the past, Megatron." Starscream hissed.

From somewhere in the back, Frenzy shouted, "Name one time!"

"When Devastator went berserk and almost destroyed the planet." The human Starscream retorted.

"That was the Autobot's fault in the first place." The human Megatron replied. "If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have had to deal with that problem."

Starscream was silent for a while. He looked away and said, "What about that incident with the Exponential Generator? Or when Bruticus conquered Cybertron and nearly destroyed the Earth?"

The taller human smiled. "Oh, yes, two of your more _brilliant _plans."

Thrust snorted. "He's a crackpot." He said referring to the human Starscream. Thrust then turned to his leader. "I assure you this plan will work. He has no idea what he's talking about."

"I have _no idea _what I'm talking about?!" the human Starscream screeched. "_I _have _no idea_ what I'm talking about?!"

"Primus…" Wheeljack muttered.

"Oh, he did _not_ just go there!" Frenzy taunted. Without missing a beat, the humanized Seeker picked up a rock and lobbed it at the Spy Cassette's head.

The human Starscream turned to the tactician. "Unlike _you_," he hissed, pointing at Thrust, "slag for brains, I _have_ had scientific training, and I probably know more about what I talking about better than you." Starscream crossed his arms. "You're just like the Thrust in my universe; you both spend most of your time talking out your aft-"

"Why you little…" Thrust bent down to pick up the human Air Commander, but he was cut off by Megatron's icy stare, both of theirs.

The human Megatron pointed to the mouth of the cave. "Leave, Starscream."

Starscream glowered at his leader. "As the Air Commander and your second-in-command, I have a right to be here."

"Leave. Now." Megatron repeated.

"The tribe has spoken, 'Screamer!" Frenzy called out.

Starscream left angrily, but not before lobbing another rock at Frenzy's head.

The robotic Megatron stared at the mouth of the cave. "Is your army always this… ill-tempered?"

"No," the human Megatron answered. "Just him."

The robotic Megatron chuckled. "The Starscream here has the sense to know when to be meek. I see you haven't beat that into _him_ yet."

The human looked up at his counterpart. "I suppose that the Starscream here is not constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown. Dealing with him is like walking on a razor's edge. If I take it too far, he'll lose all of his usefulness." The human smirked. "Now, about that plan you had…"

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Bumblebee, who had met up with Ratchet and the Seekers while they were headed to the coffee shop, stared at the liquid in the cup. He made a disgusted face.

"How can you guys drink that stuff?" Bumblebee asked.

Skywarp smiled. "Because of a magical substance called caffeine." He muttered.

"You've had the easiest time adjusting out of all of us." Thundercracker stated. "You're only half as big as you used to be, and you couldn't really fly in the first place, and you're a spy… I think."

"I want to fly…" Skywarp murmured dreamily, half asleep. "Fly away…" Ratchet smacked him upside the head, and suddenly Skywarp was fully awake.

Bumblebee looked back at the coffee. "But Skyfire doesn't drink this stuff either."

Ratchet snorted. "Yeah, and he's a mess. We need to find a way back." He looked at the Seekers. "Even if it means cooperating with you lot."

Thundercracker took a drink of his coffee. "Don't ask me. I have no idea what the difference between a 'universe' and a 'dimension' is."

Bumblebee blinked. "There's a difference?"

"Apparently." Thundercracker replied. "Wheeljack was trying to explain it to me the other day.

"A dimension is a plane of existence." Skywarp stated. "So it's possible to be in a different dimension but the same universe." Everyone just stared at him. "What? It was on an episode of Stargate once!"

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Starscream sat grumpily on a rock. "Stupid Megatron." He growled. "That slag heap is going to get me killed…" He turned when he heard footsteps approaching. "Wheeljack," he shouted, "you could have helped me out back there!"

Wheeljack looked down at the human. "I'd like to keep my limbs attached to my body." Wheeljack sat down. "Something else is troubling you."

"Do you honestly think that an alliance will last?" Starscream asked. "As soon as the Autobots are gone, Megatron is going to stab his partner in the back."

"Which one?" Wheeljack asked. "We have two now, remember that."

"Either one." Starscream replied, exasperated. "One of them is going to kill the other one off, and they will be commander of _all_ the Decepticons. And do you really think others are going to stand for copies of themselves running around?"

"The Megatron here won't put up with your attitude." Wheeljack stated.

"Either way I might end up dead." Starscream replied. "I don't think Megatron, the one from my universe, will keep me around after the war. It'd probably be too much hassle."

Wheeljack smiled and stood up. "You know, with all the talk about not interfering with the timelines, I actually thought you were in this for the greater good. It's nice to know that your purpose for this, like any sensible mech, is self-preservation." Wheeljack turned back towards the cave. "Don't expect much help from me, but I'll do what I can."

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Starscream came back into the cave when he saw the other Decepticons leave. Most of them anyway, because Wheeljack was setting up a temporary workshop next to the crystal. The human sat down on a rock inside of the area designated for the lab.

"Have you figured out the problem yet?" Starscream asked.

"I'm figuring that it has something to do with the chuck missing, that somehow no one else noticed." Wheeljack replied bitterly.

Starscream stretched. "Don't get mad at me. I was kicked out. Anyway, I'm exhausted. You don't mind if I stay in here, right?"

"Yeah, whatever." Wheeljack muttered, trying to set up a scanner of some sort. When he finished, he said, "You said you had scientific training. I thought you were just another one of Megatron's soldiers."

Starscream smirked. "What, I don't look like a Decepticon science officer to you?"

Wheeljack looked down at the human. "Not really."

Starscream sighed. "I was a scientist before I joined the army." He admitted

Wheeljack laughed. "Interesting phrasing. 'Before you joined the army' doesn't necessarily mean 'before the war'. What happened to make you team up with Megatron? You obviously hate him."

"I don't want to talk about it." Starscream snapped. Then he smirked and said "I know that my personal life is interesting, but can you please just focus on your work."

Wheeljack laughed again. "A bit nervous?"  
"Of course. The Wheeljack in my universe has a reputation for his inventions to blow up." Starscream replied.

"Ha ha, very funny. My projects don't blow up _that _often."

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KiWi: Argh! This chapter was so hard to write!

Torio: KiWi accidentally didn't have what was going on in the jungle coincide with what happened in the base. She had to fix that.

KiWi: Sorry if it's a horrible chapter.

Torio: I'm amazed that you managed to slip in a 'Rumble is red' reference and a Stargate reference.

KiWi: I am too… Whoo! Go me! (punches the air)

Torio: Anyway, review please.

KiWi: If you do I'll give you… I'm running out of imaginary things. We'll go with cupcakes.


	5. That sinking feeling

KiWi: Oh, yeah, Chapter 5! (Does V for victory hand thing) I'm on a roll!

Torio: Whatever. (glares)

KiWi: Torio thought I would have given up by now, but here I am, still going.

Torio: Just answer the reviews.

KiWi: Cosmicfalcon wants me to update, so I have. It's bad to mess with people that have a species of a bird of prey in their name. And here's one from SpartanCommander.

Torio: I don't know how you managed to put up with KiWi for so long.

KiWi: I would so put the Combaticons in this story, except that I know very little G1 that takes place after the episode "A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court".

Torio: She's not as G1 savvy as she likes to think she is

KiWi: Quiet you. Anyway, I've only seen "Starscream's Brigade" and the "Revenge of Brutticus" episodes thanks to YouTube. YouTube is a gift from Primus.

Torio: More like a gift from the one below.

KiWi: I'm also bad with Gestalt names. Out of the Combaticons, I only remember Onslaught 'coz he's the leader, and Swindle 'coz he's awesome.

Torio: Se can't even remember the Constructicons' names properly. Strangely enough, Bonecrusher isn't the one she always forgets…

KiWi: I do agree with you on the G1ers being better strategists and having more powers thing. Hell, G1 Ironhide probably has more powers than the Armada bots combined. I've lost track of all the equipment he has.

Torio: You're ranting. Moving on now.

KiWi: Right. Anyway, Thatredcar and Raveen think I'm funny. They need some cupcakes. And Thatredcar can have Skyfire's coffee too. Maybe even some Jolt cola…

Skywarp: Nooo! My Jolt! (takes can away from KiWi) Mine!

KiWi: Erm… okay. Anyway, some useless information: Soundwave drinks his coffee black. Thundercracker and Ratchet drink it with sugar and creamer. Wheeljack hates creamer and drinks it with sugar and milk. Skywarp and Rumble very rarely drink coffee. Instead they drink Jolt cola.

Skywarp: (singing) All the sugar and twice the caffeine!

Torio: And this pertains to the story how?

KiWi: It doesn't. Not really, at least.

Torio: Whatever. Anyway, here's the disclaimer. KiWi doesn't own Transformers. If she did, then she could probably pay someone to insert a witty line here.

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Most humans would probably be sick while watching someone get sick. Wheeljack, not being human, stared calmly as the human Starscream emptied the contents of his stomach in the corner of the temp workshop.

"That's not healthy, is it?" Wheeljack asked. "My understanding of humans is limited, but as far as I know, the food is supposed to come out of the _opposite_ end after it's been processed."

Starscream spat on the ground. "It's not processed. Not completely, anyway. I think this blasted body is malfunctioning." He wiped his mouth. "The humans have such shoddy self-repair systems. I just keep on getting worse and worse."

Wheeljack shrugged. "Sorry, can't help you there."

"I know." Starscream muttered, and sat down where his "bed" was. He picked up a device and started fiddling with it.

Wheeljack looked back at where Starscream had gotten sick. "Could you find somewhere else to do that?" He asked. "You unprocessed food leave such a mess."

"It's nice to know you care." Starscream replied sardonically.

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"Wow." Carlos muttered, looking at the crystal in Rad's hand. "Where did you find that thing?"

Rad smiled. "I picked it up back when we were investigating the rifts. Pretty cool, huh?"

Alexis turned, and noticed that Soren was watching Rad. He turned away when he saw her stared at him.

_They know what's going on,_ she thought,_ and they're not telling us._

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"You're being as paranoid as 'Screamer." Skywarp muttered.

"I'm not being paranoid." Soundwave stated. "She knows."

"Nuttier than Starscream." Skywarp responded.

"I assure you, I am the sanest one here."

"So sane it's crazy." Thundercracker said under his breath. "Things will be easier if you just admit you're nuts, just like the rest of us."

"I'm not crazy." Soundwave replied.

"Everyone in the base is a little crazy." Thundercracker stated.

"I'm sure that we have a klepto going around, 'cuz my stuff keeps on disappearing." Skywarp commented.

"It's probably someone mad at you." Thundercracker shot back. "The number of people mad at you is astounding."

Skywarp noticed that Soundwave was walking away. "Hey, what's wrong? Did we make you mad?"

"Just shut up." Soundwave ordered.

"Aw, we were just kidding." Skywarp went to place a hand on Soundwave's shoulder, but he caught it and twisted the arm around.

"Dolt," Soundwave growled. "How do you expect me to fix this mess if you don't listen to me? From now on, you _will_ listen to my orders. Do you understand?" When Skywarp didn't say anything, he twisted the arm a bit more. "_Do you understand?_"

"Y-yeah." Skywarp stuttered. Soundwave released his arm, still shaking with rage. The communications officer took a deep breath, and forcibly calmed himself down.

"Stay away from the humans today." He ordered. The two Seekers nodded dumbly.

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Ironhide followed Starscream from a distance. He wasn't particularly fond of stealth missions, being more of the run-and-gun type, but he was a bit stuck. He had no weaponry, was outnumbered, and was trapped in a human body, while the enemy had managed to make an alliance with the Decepticons here.

Still, he thought his odds were pretty good.

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_I'm going mad, _Soundwave thought. He shook his head, remembering his reaction to the Seekers. He did not get angry. It just wasn't him. He did _not_ get angry, he did _not _stress and he absolutely did _not_ forget things.

And yet… he was. He was starting to forget the names of the soldiers in the base; people he should remember the names of simply because it was his job.

He remembered the higher ranking ones, people like Shockwave or Starscream, and of course he remembered the names of who he was stuck with, but he would often forget the name of one of the gestalts, or get Seekers confused because they all pretty much looked the same.

Soundwave scowled at his desk. He needed a way out of this. _Something _had to come up soon, because he could not stand being human anymore. It was tempting to go up and tell the Autobots, and to risk being killed, just to see if they could get a little help.

But that would be being rash, and Soundwave was not rash. He stayed in the background and waited, and when the time was right, he would strike. It was who he was, and no matter how crazy he was becoming, he would not take an unnecessary risk like that.

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Skywarp hated clocks. They had a tendency to run slower when he watched them, or when he wanted something over with quickly. Wasn't time supposed to be constant or something?

Skywarp shook his head. That didn't matter right now. At the moment, he had to figure out how to follow Soundwave's command of staying away from the humans, since he had forgotten that he _lived_ with Alexis, the human that the communications officer was worried about. If Alexis did know, then she would confront him when they got home.

Skywarp buried his face in his hands. How the Pit was he going to get out of this one? There was no way he was going to be able to smooth talk his way out, and no way he can avoid her, so he had to find another way out.

_Oh Primus,_ he thought, _please don't let me get caught._

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As it turns out, sometimes prayers are answered. Alexis had a field trip, and would not be back until ten. Skywarp planned to be in bed by then.

"You look awfully relieved, Decepticreep." Ratchet sneered.

Skywarp laughed. "Of course I am. I've got five energon cubes resting on the fact that I'm not going to be the one that botches this up."

Ratchet blinked. "You betted on this?"

"Yeah."

"You _betted_ on what may be the worst situation any Transformer has gotten into?"

Skywarp laughed. "Of course. Betting lightens up any situation and makes it easier to deal with."

Ratchet sighed. "Why, of all the Decepticons, did I get stuck with _you_?"

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As they walked home, the groups tended to stick to their selves. The humans were in front, followed by the Decepticons, and finally the Autobots.

"Did any of you guys notice today that the Decepticons were being a bit… standoffish?" Bumblebee asked.

Wheeljack sighed. "They're Decepticons. They tend to be loners."

"Not really." Skyfire stated. "They do have interpersonal relationships, it just very rarely shows up on the battlefield."

Ratchet shook his head. "And you know this because of your short time as a Decepticon?"

Skyfire nodded. "Something else is bothering them today. I don't think that they'll last as humans much longer."

Wheeljack looked at the ground. "Neither will you. You're a mess, Skyfire."

Ratchet noticed Skywarp turning away towards Alexis' house. "Blast. I've got to go. See you tomorrow." The others waved goodbye.

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Ratchet woke up with a jolt, and looked at the clock. It said 12:45 pm. With a disgruntled 'dammit', he rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom.

He was washing his hands when Skywarp knocked on the door. He knew that it was Skywarp because the Seeker had a tendency to kick the door instead of knocking.

"Hold on." The medic grumbled. He dried his hands and opened the door. "Would it kill you-" he began, and then he saw Skywarp.

The Seeker was pale and shaking. He grasped his upper arms, which were bleeding.

"Move out of the way, Autobot."

Ratchet rolled his eyes and pulled the Decepticon into the bathroom. "Get in here, lean over the tub and turn on the water."

"Huh? Why?"

"Spike told me once that water stops the flow of blood, or something like that." Ratchet stated. The Decepticon grudgingly obeyed. "Okay, what happened?" Skywarp didn't reply. "Helping is a lot easier if I know what the Pit happened."

"I… had a nightmare." Skywarp muttered weakly. "Sometimes this happens, but it's never been this bad."

"What, the nightmare or the self-mutilation?"

Skywarp glared at him. "Just fix me."

"Hold on, hold on." Ratchet opened the medicine cabinet. He pulled out a brown bottle and looked at it. "I think this is it."

Skywarp jerked away. "Wait a minute, you _think_. Dude, I'm not letting you pour chemicals on my arms if you_ think_ they'll work."

Ratchet pulled out a washcloth and folded it up. "This is it. I'm sure of it." He shoved the washcloth in Skywarp's mouth. "Bite down on this and try not to scream like a wuss."

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Minutes later, the two were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, watching TV. Skywarp rubbed at the bandages on his arm irritably.

"What on Cybertron did you dump on my arm, Autobot?" Skywarp asked.

"Hydrogen Peroxide, Decepticon. It cleans wounds." Ratchet replied.

"I have a name you know."

"And so do I. I'll stop calling you Decepticon when you stop calling me Autobot." Ratchet paused, and then added a "Decepticon" for good measure.

"Okay, _Ratchet_, how did you know that stuff would work?"

"Alexis told me." Ratchet looked down. "Sometimes I gnaw on my hands in my sleep. That's why I wear gloves to bed."

"It's nice to know horrible things happen to everybody." Skywarp muttered.

"I'm going to tell them." Ratchet stated. Skywarp looked like he was about ready to attack the medic.

"You said that you wouldn't tell. You gave us your word."

Ratchet laughed. "We won't last like this. We need to get back, and the only way to do that may be to tell them."

Skywarp scowled, but let the subject drop. He wasn't going to argue about this.

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They had little time to spend at the Autobot base. Alexis looked at Skyler. She had little time to figure out what was going on before school began. She was about ready to confront him when the minicon alarm went off. So instead of finding out what was going on, they went to investigate the rift.

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"Hot Shot!" Rad called. "Where did you go?!" He looked around, but no one was there. Rad shook his head.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A screechy voice behind him asked. Rad turned to face the person behind him. At first he thought it was Skyler or TC, but then he realized that the face was too dark and narrow, and the clothes were completely different.

"Who-" Rad began.

"That doesn't matter." The other person said. He stuck out his hand. "You have the crystal piece. Give it to me." Rad glared at him. "That wasn't a request."

Rad sighed and pulled out the piece. The person took it and smiled. He started to put it in his pocket when a voice from behind him caught him by surprise.

"Planning on betraying me?" A taller, gray haired boy asked.

The one that looked like Skyler was shocked. "O-of course not." He stuttered. "I was putting it there until I found you."

"Right." The other one replied. He stuck out his hand. "Give it over." Grudgingly, the Skyler look-alike obeyed. Then the gray-haired boy strode over to Rad. "And now that you are no longer of any use to us." Rad struggled helplessly, trying to pry the other boy's hands off of his throat.

_Help me_, he thought desperately.

Help came in the form of a red-haired boy with a southern accent.

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Alexis watched these events unfold from a distance. She was about to rush in and help him when a shot hit right behind her. The next thing she knew, Grindor was dragging her away.

"What are you doing?" Alexis asked.

(We're retreating.)

"But Rad-"

(We'll have to come back later. The Decepticons have us outgunned right now.)

Alexis looked back at where she was hiding, and noticed someone else was there. He was a boy about their age, with red hair, and dressed in red and gray. The boy looked at her, smiled and nodded. Alexis gave a sigh of relief. If he was really going to help out, Rad might have a chance. She looked back up and saw the boy sprint through the jungle.

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Rad looked at the boy. He leaned against a tree, holding his arm. He also had a black eye. Rad wasn't entirely sure how he managed to make it out of that situation with so few injuries.

Rad finally summoned up the courage to go up to the boy and ask, "What's going on?" The boy looked up at him. "One of them looked like some kids I know. We met them recently, and they say they have no memories." Rad took a deep breath. "But they do, don't they. They've been deceiving us. And you know what's going on, don't you?"

"Vaguely." The boy responded weakly.

"Explain it to me."

The boy sighed. "Okay, sit down." He looked away for a second. Finally he said, "M'name's Ironhide, and I was sucked in from a parallel universe."

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"You know what's going on, don't you?!" Alexis shouted, pointing her finger in Skyler's face. "What happened to Rad?!"

"I-I don't know!" Skyler managed. "I wasn't there!"

"But you do know!" Alexis roared, ignoring the others who were telling her to calm down. "Where is he? What happened!"

Richard walked into the room. "Calm down. I can explain."

"You said you wouldn't! You gave us your word!" Skyler yelled.

Ratchet sighed. "Our situation has become more desperate. I honestly think I have no other choice." He turned to Alexis and the Autobots. "This may seem a bit weird, and I can understand if you don't believe me, but we fell if from a parallel universe."

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KiWi: Done!

Torio: This chapter is short.

KiWi: I had to get it done before break.

Torio: Yeah, nothing will be posted by KiWi during the next two weeks.

KiWi: But if you review, you get imaginary candy canes!


	6. And now they know they're screwed

KiWi: Woohooo! Chapter… err, Torio, what chapter am I on again?

Torio: Chapter 6.

KiWi: Oh, yeah, chapter 6! Anyway, Christmas was good to me, 'coz I got this! (holds up flash drive) This way, I won't have to deal with the school computers eating my floppy discs anymore.

Torio: Don't expect her to update faster, though. That's a different problem entirely.

KiWi: Time for reviews! I fear for Thatredcar's life, simply because I have seen what happens when you come between addicts and their Jolt. It's not a pretty sight.

Torio: Iniku Dakishi, Master Solo and Storm Blue Lightning Saix want this story to continue. So she is continuing.

KiWi: Starscream Girl likes human Starscram. He is sooooo cute, huh?

Torio: And SpartanCommander also seems to agree that the 'Cons are thoroughly screwed.

KiWi: And that about sums it up. Imaginary candy canes for all! Time to start the story!!!

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Alexis shook her head. Transformers from a parallel universe? It sounded so absurd, yet it made sense. She looked at Richard ("Ratchet" she corrected herself mentally) and searched for any sign of deceit. She shook her head again. If he was an Autobot, like he claimed, why would he deceive her?

Then something clicked in the back of her head. If Richard was really an Autobot, and he always got in fights with Skyler, did that mean that he was…

Alexis turned to Skyler, who visibly flinched. "You're a Decepticon, aren't you?" she asked. Skyler backed away from her. "You might as well admit it."

Skyler went to run. Alexis went to catch him. Skyler decided to knee her in the gut.

"Someone get him!" Hot Shot shouted. Too late, Skyler had already made it out of the door and down the hallway.

Alexis staggered to her feet. She glared at Ratchet. "You seem awfully calm. Don't you think he might escape?"

"No, I don't." he replied bluntly. "I saw Red Alert activate the security system. He's not going to get far."

All Alexis could manage was a small "oh."

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"You hit her?"

Skywarp looked at Thundercracker. "Of course I hit her." He said. "I had to get out of there."

"But you hit her." Thundercracker repeated.

Skywarp blinked. "So?"

Thundercracker shook his head and sighed. "I swear, you are such a slagging idiot. You hit one of the Autobots' pets when they found out you were an enemy Decepticon."

Skywarp made no move, so Thundercracker grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out of the room they were in.

"Ow! What did I do now? Where are we going?" Skywarp asked

"We're going to go make peace with the Autobots before we get ourselves killed." Thundercracker answered.

"Ow! Do you have to pull so hard?"

Thundercracker looked Skywarp in the eye. "Yes, Skywarp, I do." Then he tugged the ear a little bit harder.

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"Are you sure about this?" Rad asked. "This seems kind of risky."

"I've done this hundreds of times, kid." Ironhide assured. Rad gave him a critical stare. "Okay, so maybe I haven't been a human before, but this'll work."

"We're going to be caught and shot." Rad mumbled.

"We'll make it." Ironhide gave a small smile. "Starscream's not always all there."

"Starscream's not the one I'm worried about. Wheeljack is." Rad muttered. Ironhide gave him a blank stare. "The giant one."

"Right." Ironhide paused. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three." The duo ran to retrieve the crystal piece.

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Ratchet looked at the doorway. "Wait here." He said, and left. A few minutes passed, but instead of Ratchet returning, two others came in.

"And you two are?" Alexis asked irritably.

"Bumblebee and Wheeljack." They answered obediently.

"And you're Autobots, right?" Alexis asked. They nodded.

Carlos walked up behind them. "Just making sure, 'coz the Wheeljack here is a Decepticon."

Wheeljack grinned. "That's okay, I understand. It happens."

Bumblebee sat on the ground. "The fighting's stopped." He said cheerfully.

Seconds later, Ratchet and the one they have been calling Sam stepped into the room. They both looked rather irritated.

"Congratulations, Ratchet," Wheeljack called out, "you're one of the few people who have gotten Skyfire mad."

"Shut up." They both muttered at the same time.

Carlos and Alexis looked at each other, and started to walk towards Skyfire. They were stopped midway by a sound from down the hallway. The door opened and a very upset TC pushed Skyler onto the ground in front of them.

"Apologize." TC growled at Skyler. Skyler didn't make a move. "You are going to apologize right now, Skywarp!"

Skywarp looked up at Alexis. " 'm sorry." He muttered sullenly.

"Get up." Alexis hissed. Skywarp stood up. She slapped him.

"Ow! Hey, what was that for?!"

"That was for kneeing me in then stomach." Alexis stated coldly. She slapped him again, this time harder. Both Carlos and TC winced. "And that's for deceiving us!"

"Not my fault! Sou-" he began.

"Whose fault is it?" Alexis asked.

"I can't tell you. I've got a bet resting on the fact that I'm not going to blow our cover." Skywarp stated.

"Just go." She growled, pointing over by where Bumblebee was sitting. Skywarp decided to listen for once and leave the human alone. Alexis then turned to TC.

"I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced." He said. "My name's Thundercracker. TC for short." He held out his hand for a handshake.

"Yeah, whatever." She grumbled and walked away.

Thundercracker blinked, obviously oblivious to what just happened. "Did I do something to offend her?" he asked.

"Nah." Carlos answered. "We just don't trust friendly Decepticons. Also, she's in a bit of a bad mood."

"Oh. So my existence has offended her?"

Carlos sighed. "You really are a pessimist, aren't you?"

Thundercracker frowned. "I'm not a pessimist. I merely tell it like it is."

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"I told you this was a bad idea!" Rad shouted. He looked down into the river.

"Shh… I think we lost 'em." Ironhide whispered.

Rad frowned. "What are we going to do now?"

Ironhide looked down. "Haven't thought that far ahead yet." He admitted. Rad groaned. "Hey, at least we lost the-" Ironhide didn't get to finish his sentence because he was tackled into the river. Rad turned around quick enough to see Starscream just before he was pushed into the river, and was swept away by the current.

Starscream watched as the two were swept downstream and smiled. He quickly covered his smile when he heard Megatron come up behind him.

"Starscream, report." He demanded.

Starscream frowned. "They managed to jump into the river before I could retrieve the crystal."

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Alexis sighed. This was a horrible mess. She looked up at the stars and sighed again. She heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw Thundercracker. "What do you want?" she growled.

"To get out of the base. It's too confining in there." He answered. "But if this spot is taken, I can go somewhere else." He turned to walk away.

"You can stay." Thundercracker smiled and sat down. "How can you find the base too confining? It's huge in there."

"I don't really like it indoors. Typical Seeker behavior, really." Thundercracker answered. "I feel better outside."

Alexis gave him a flat look. "You're not very good at being a human, are you?"

"Nope. And I don't want to stay a human. No offense."

Alexis eyed him warily. "Why are you so friendly?"

Thundercracker blinked. "It's not that I'm friendly, it's that I'm not as biased as the others tend to be. Skywarp's the social butterfly."

"Skywarp is an idiot." Alexis muttered.

"He's not as stupid as everyone thinks he is." Thundercracker replied.

"You call him stupid, too."

Thundercracker laughed. "I've been his friend for longer than the human race has existed. I have an excuse."

"Hey, guys. Whatcha talkin' about." Skywarp said as he ran out and sat next to Thundercracker.

"We're talking about how much of an idiot you are." Thundercracker replied blandly. Skywarp pouted. "Why are you out here?"

Skywarp made a gesture in the direction the base was. "Soundwave and Skyfire are yelling at Ratchet. It was kind of scary."

"What's so scary about that?" Alexis asked.

"Soundwave doesn't yell." Thundercracker answered. "It's just his personality. He almost never shows emotion at all."

"And Skyfire brings new meaning to the term 'non-combat type'." Skywarp added.

Alexis blinked. "You're all bizarre."

Skywarp laughed. "If you think we're bizarre, you should meet some of the others we have to work with."

"Yeah. Being on Space-Bridge duty with Dirge is enough to make you want to blow your head off." Thundercracker muttered.

Alexis shook her head. "I don't want to know."

Thundercracker stood up and stretched. "I'm heading back. If there's a fight going on that involves Soundwave and Skyfire, it might actually be worth watching."

Alexis also got up. "I'm coming too." Skywarp looked at her. "Staying out here alone with you is a good way to fall victim to one of your pranks."

Skywarp smiled. "You really are smart, aren't you?" He stood up. "I might as well go back too. Being alone out here is no fun."

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Rad wasn't really sure how he got out of the river. Ironhide probably dragged him out. When Rad was out of the water, however, he collapsed to the ground.

"Man." Rad said exasperated. He was wringing the water out of his clothes when he realized something. He pulled the crystal piece and a plastic wrapped device out of his pocket. "You would think he would have taken the crystal." Rad muttered. Ironhide snatched the device out of his hand.

"He's up to something." Ironhide unwrapped the device. He eyed it warily. "Well, provided this isn't a bomb, we can contact your Autobot friends."

Rad looked up. "What are the chances it's a bomb?"

"We're talking about Starscream here."

Rad blinked. "Okay then." He stood up and looked around. "Dude, what's with the trees here? It looks like something has been eating them."

Ironhide's eyes widened in terror. "Oh slag."

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"You look rather smug for someone who has just failed." Wheeljack stated. "What are you up to?"

Starscream smirked. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Wheeljack frowned. "You do have the crystal piece, don't you?"

"Nope. As I said, they got away with it."

Wheeljack crouched down so he was at eye level with Starscream. "You let them get away with it." He whispered.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why?"

Starscream glared at him. "I can lie to Megatron, but he always find out if I physically keep something from him." Starscream whispered. "He can't have the crystal yet. The Autobots can't use it. As long as it is a stalemate, I can sit here and plan about getting us out of this mess alive."

Wheeljack stood up. "This is treason, you know."

"I seem to get that a lot." Starscream chuckled. "Are you going to help me out, like you said?"

"Not with treason."

Starscream sighed. "So you're one of the blindly loyal types. Oh well."

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They were walking back to the base when Alexis realized something.

"Oh my gosh, we didn't go to school today!"

"Such a pity." Skywarp muttered sarcastically.

"I'm sure that Red can make the records say you did go to school today." Thundercracker stated. "I mean, we have to be taken off the records, so he can do it at the same time."

"But, that would be lying…" Alexis started. "Oh, yeah, forgot I was talking to Decepticons here."

"Isn't that stereotyping?" Skywarp asked.

"Oh, like you should be one to talk." Alexis shot back. "You all think that humans are an inferior race."

"You are inferior." Thundercracker said with a playful shove. "You have no wings and have a tendency to go 'squish'."

"So much for not being as biased as the others." Alexis muttered.

"Just because you are a member of an inferior race does not mean that you deserve to be involved in a war that you have had no part of." Thundercracker stated. Alexis gave him a bewildered look. "In our universe, our existence is not a secret."

"So, there are human casualties because of your battles?" Alexis asked. Thundercracker nodded. "Most of the others don't care, do they?"

"Some of them go out of their way to hurt the humans." Thundercracker said solemnly.

"Like Starscream." Skywarp added. "I think he has a personal vendetta against the whole planet, though. He's a little gitched, if you know what I mean."

They walked a little more, then Alexis asked, "Why are you guys so cold? I mean, lives are lost, and you act like you don't care."

"You're a part of this war now." Thundercracker said stoically. "When you lose someone because of this war, then you'll understand."

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"We've picked up a signal of some kind!" Red Alert shouted. "It's in the area where we lost Rad."

"Do you think it's him?" Optimus asked.

"I don't know." Red Alert admitted. "It might be a Decepticon trap."

Optimus turned to the human transformers. "Is anyone else out there? Someone we didn't find?"

"I saw Frenzy." Skyfire stated.

"Me too." Wheeljack said. "And Starscream was next to Megatron."

"I saw Ironhide." Rumble said.

"So it's either a trick, or someone out there manage to make a communication device out of a coconut." Bumblebee joked.

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KiWi: Done!

Torio: Another short chapter. Oh, well.

KiWi: Review and you'll get imaginary… jelly beans.

Torio: KiWi is running out of imaginary candy.

KiWi: Review please.


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